August Tenth Anno Dominum Two Thousand and Nine

One month has elapsed. And yet, the only things that have progressed are in the Army, for good or for bad.

NDP's over, and it's officially 10 months to ORD. I still play my instrument passably though I guess my inadequatecy compared to others in that area arouses a certain scorn. It doesn't make me strive any harder.

While band portrays itself as a great place, it still is the SAF where hard work never pays. Instead I find myself half floating, drifting through this meandering course, filling the holes, patching the sails, with the knowledge that I will stop these meaningless work one day.

NDP. The boys shouted, girls screamed, flags flown with fervour, a nation believed and rallied. I am no patriot and while marching through the streets does give me a sense of warmth rushing up my guts, I was filled with apathy and disgust to a certain extent.

Apathy because, ever since they cut down the trees, demolished my schools, repainted my block and destroyed the libraries I cherished, they uprooted me. Forget about trying to sink people's roots through education. I believe they're pretty successful in that. It's the values and things of attachment.

Disgust, because of how it was organised. The aim was clear. The process distasteful. They had a plan which was practised for 8 weeks before being scrapped and had the one and only practice on NDP preview day. In the process, we played a half baked stripped down repertoire and needless to say, nobody in band who marched would say it was spectacular. It was interesting but nothing extremely special. The blame when it failed prior was squarely put on the band too. With employers like this, why do people sign on?

Despite NDP being over, I can't rest yet. There's ACPC coming up, BMT, ASLC. I guess they'll only let me rest after march next year. Can I will I wait for that 7 months? I hope I can.

I know most of you that read this would wonder whether I was in such a predicament. Maybe not a position which cannot be sat out. But yes, it's stressful because I don't have the friends close enough. I've been reassessing and there's only andrew and erica yap who I would consider relatively close in singapore. I can go play squash soon enough or just talk over life. It isn't the same with most others, too concerned with my lack of handphone, accessories, clothes, outfit, looks, university and abilities. But still Im grateful, if it's 2 im left with, that's 2 more than zero.

I guess I shouldn't be thinking about the same things all the time. November is my month to run away. Then I definitely will drop everything and hug my dear friends.

Now pass the bottle round boys
Don't just let it stand there
For tonight we drink the health of every overlander